Thursday, August 22, 2013

"That's Ok, Mom. Don't worry. "

I met C during college days in 2001 and we have been seeing each other until we got married in 2006. 

C is a very easy going person. He takes most of the things on a light-hearted note and does not worry much. He plans his days as it goes on and he is OK walking into a restaurant at 7:30 pm even though S has school the next day at 8:00 am. He is Ok if he paid extra for buying a couch but did not have to stand in line or look into too many deals. Even traffic tickets did not stir him up. He is a extremely humorous person and that is what I love in him. 

On the contrary, I am an extremely organized person (at least I think so). I make a calendar, I need a plan and I like sticking to it. Any deviation from the plan will turn me crazy (though temporarily). There is a library day / swimming day / walking day etc in our schedule.  Saturdays are sleep over days with my boys and I stick to it. If I cannot make it,  feel very bad and make it up to the boys in another fun way. Prior to my marriage, I was a pretty easy going person, though not on all subjects. I could not see wet towels on the bed, shoes near the couch, tooth brushes in the sofa, clothes out of order in the wardrobe, things lying on the floor, utensils scattered in the kitchen and so on and so forth. So, my organizing madness along with my cleanliness turned C crazy at home. 

Due to such a contrast in personalities, I got "That's OK, Sai. Things happen sometimes and other times they just don't. You got to take it easy..." And that drove me even madder. Recently, S too has got onto his Dad's wagon. He started to tell me, " Mom, it's OK. Don't worry.  We can do that some other time..."  Below are some instances -

  • Last week, we were running late for S's after school tuition and I was hurrying the kids. Siddhu turned around and said to me, "Amma, it's OK. Some times we get late for the tuition and I don't think that is wrong."
  • In the footsteps of his older brother, A never uses the toilet until the last minute. Due to that rush, the pee sometimes ends up getting sprayed onto the toilet floor which then means cleaning work for me. I usually get irritated, but just clean it out. After all they are kids and they are going to learn from their mistakes. But one day, I got really serious and told A very firmly that it is not OK to pee on the toilet floor. After a week or so, A agin peed on the toilet floor. To this S said, "Mom, it's OK. Don't get mad at A. He is a baby. So, it's OK for him to pee on the floor. He will slowly learn not to. OK?"

There were many more incidents like this and I usually did not give it much thought thinking that S just goes after his dad. But one incident threw me off and that is what set me into thinking...

Here in Arizona, Wednesday is Early Release day from S's school. So, parents are supposed to pick up children from the school at 1:00 pm (except for ids enrolled in after school programs). This is something I am not used to, because while we were in Green Bay (WI), S used to go to full day preschool. 
On the first Wednesday ( Aug 7th, 2013) during this school year, I forgot about the early release. Suddenly @ 2:30 pm, we received a call from the school saying that S is sitting at the front office and waiting for us to pick him up for the past one and half hour. Hearing that, I drove really fast to the school and picked up S. On picking him up, I told him, "Siddhu, I am extremely sorry for forgetting that Wednesday is an early release day. I will make sure it does not repeat. I really mean it and I am very very sorry." I meant every word of it and was very apologetic in my tone. He did not speak immediately, but after 5 minutes he said to me, "Amma, don't be sorry. That is OK. Sometimes big people also make mistakes and today you made one. But that is OK. Few mistakes are OK, not a lot of them."

I was taken aback by his sense of maturity and was just silent for the rest of the drive home. 

Seeing S's take-it-easy nature, I decided not to get upset at the boys for petty things. Along with that, I decided not to use the words , "Hurry UP" , "Quick" and the like. Usually, it is "Quick, get into the car. We are getting late." Now, it is just "Get into the car. We got to go swimming.". Learning never stops, we learn new things all our life. And my boys teach me new things day in and out. Thank you, my dear boys!


  1. what a lovely post Sai! It is all okay, i guess :)

    1. Thank you, Yuvi. Seems like its all OK in the end.

  2. Siddhu is awesome...someone else wud have cried a lot and made a super big deal out of it...great kids u got Sai!

    1. Thank you so much, Rekha. That was a wonderful compliment.