Wednesday, June 18, 2014

One year into sunny Arizona - good or bad?

We make lots of choices in life. Most of the time we make a certain choice thinking that it is the best choice at that moment. Only time will tell if it really was the best one or not. I am the type of person who dwells a lot in the past; as in I think a lot if a decision I made earlier in life was the best one or not - trying to overcome this bad habit.

On that note, I thought, thought (actually over thought) and still think about our move from WI to AZ (detailed out in my post here) exactly one year ago. And finally am jotting down my thoughts in this post here.

We were a very well settled family in WI - few nice friends, wonderful preschool for the boys, excellent doctors and two very stable jobs for both of us. People asked me, "What more do I want?" And I only thought "settlement". I could never picture myself settling in Green Bay. And I thought if I will not take life into my hands and make the change, then nobody can help me. We were so scared to get caught up in that comfort zone, in that quagmire, that we did not want to have a second thought about moving out. So, we just took that leap and jumped at the first opportunity that we got to get out of that place. 

I do not have a job in AZ and immigration makes it very difficult for me to get employment here. Job offers have come and gone, but I could not start working due to immigration issues. And neither of us are able to estimate how much longer before I can start working. Paying for my school, taking care of family and sending kids to various activities has only made it tighter financially. And above all I am yet to see the ROI on my MBA (as I have another year to go). A masters education requires a lot of time and effort that I hardly find any time to spend with my family, let alone pursuing my personal interests like updating my boys' year books, planning family trips, updating my blog, work-outs and so on. So when I think on these lines, I feel that it was a bad decision.

But when I look at my children's development and the winter weather (:-P), it feels like a good move. S has finished Kindergarten (if we were in AZ he would have started KG this Fall). He lost his fear of water and swims all by himself (given his fear of water, this is in fact something we are extremely proud of); his Kumon teacher always tells me that he is much ahead of his school level. Both my boys go to Balvikas every Sunday and participate in sandwich making service every month. S learns tabla and tennis too. There are music lessons, painting lessons etc to enroll him into. We have not put him into these classes because of the time constraint due to my MBA evening classes. Hence there are lots of activities for children's development in AZ when compared to Green Bay.

Now-a-days, this battle of thoughts goes on in my head; sometimes I am in a very positive mood thinking everything happens for a reason. At other times I just feel like I am at the bottom of a pit. :(… One year into AZ and I still cannot say if this was a good decision or not.  I moved my entire family from WI to AZ just for one reason - did not look at Green Bay as a settlement place (my MBA was the chance that we found out of there). Is this worth it or not? Only time will tell... 

Lets see how all this ends up - as always only hoping for the best. The best for my boys, my husband, my family...

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