Some fun conversations with S - 1

Just recorded some conversations of S with others in the family - these were during the second half of 2013 (S @ 4y and A @ 2y)

Me: Siddhu, do you like me to work or be a stay-at-home mommy?
S: I like you to work so that you can get lots of money and then buy me lots of toys with your money.

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S:What is Lord Ayyappa's vehicle? (like Lord Ganesha rides on a rat)
Me: Lord Ayyappa rides a tiger.
S: Oh, Amma how can he? It will bite him and eat him up.

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S: Dad does a lot of office work.
Me: Should I ask him to stop working?
S: No !!! If he stops, who will get money to buys Akhi and me toys? May be after you get a job...

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S: I will one day build a heart hospital in Minneapolis. And then I will buy dad a car. But how can I go to the car store to buy the car, because I wont have a car?
Dad: I will drive you to the car store.
S: Ok, then I will buy dad a car, then myself a car, then Akhi a car and then Amma a car.
A: I will settle in California - I dont want to go back to Green Bay. I like California.
S: That is OK, Akhi. I will travel to california and meet you for your birthday and you travel to Minneapolis for my birthday and both of us will travel to Arizona for Dad's birthday, ok?
A: Ok, Siddhu
Dad: Say Annayya.
A: Ok, anayya…(he never stresses on the n)

Mom or dad - whom do you like more?

I am sure this must be a question in most households - growing up I was a mommy's pet and my sister was a daddy's pet…

In our home C usually asks the kids, "Whom do you like more - mom or dad?" (I must admit I take pleasure in asking A this question because he just is more expressive with his eyes). This has been an ongoing question at frequent intervals  ever since S started talking fluently( this was about 2 and a half years old). Ever since that time, S's answer was "Amma and Nana". If we said you have to choose one he would say "Amma" (if I asked him) and then follow it with Nana right away(with a small pause). If C asked him, then he would say "Nana" and follow it with Amma. Akhi was always in the picture, irrespective of if Akhi's name was in the question or not.

Today C asked him the same question over dinner and he replied, "Akhi Amma Nana". C asked him to pick one, he said "zero, because I am not going to pick one. I said all your names in one sentence because they are all one word and I like all three of you the same amount…"

On the contrary, A's answer always is "Amma" - It just does not change. It is a bittersweet feeling, because how much I am happy that he says my name I would like that to always be S…

Mwah to my boys - how I hope time can stand still...

Little minds, biggest question

While entering San Diego Sea World on December 25th, 2013; S asked me a question that stunned me - "Mom, how do we die?" The question took me aback; honestly given his age (just turned 5), I never expected this question from him. What shocked me further was how composed he was when he asked me the question - he asked it like it was another normal day to day question. Though death is the final destination, when faced with the question I felt like I was struck in the head with a reality check...

I replied, "Siddhu, I think I am not sure of the answer- I will find out and let you know."

To that he said, "Amma, I know how people are born. But I am curious as to how they die?"

Now the story of the answer to "How people are born?"

S asked me this question when he was like 3 and a half yrs old. For that age my answer was, "Parents pray for children - God sees if parents are behaving well, are able to take good care of a child - then accordingly gives them a child."

Months went by and he came up one day (pointing to a pregnant lady) and said, "Amma, that aunt ate a lot of food and that is why her stomach is so out." I said, "yes" (I could afford this answer because my friend was in her early baby bump stages)

Few more months went by and S noticed that my overeating friend's tummy (actually pregnant) did not go in - it in fact increased a lot. This aroused S's curiosity and I modified the answer to, " Parents pray for children - God sees if parents are behaving well, are able to take good care of a child - then accordingly puts a child in the mommy's tummy." S questioned, "Why mommy's and not daddy's tummy?" I answered, "Only because mommies sometimes stay at home and have more time to take care of the baby." 

Looks like that was a satisfying answer, he has not brought up that topic again...

...just when I think the toughest question is gone, another even tougher one comes up in my children's minds to prove my ignorance, question my understanding, reaffirm my belief and broaden my knowledge...

Love my boys to infinity and beyond for all the learning I do through them...

Little minds, bigger questions..

One day while I was on skype video call with my mom, he wasn't allowing me to talk. So, I said "Siddhu, she is my mom and like you love talking to me(your mom), I too want to talk to my mom. So, please go to your room and play or else stay quiet if you want to be around." Not accepting both these, he instead decided that he will talk to grandma. So the conversation went on as follows:

S: You are my mom's mom. But where is your mom?
Ammamma: She is in Tanuku. (Actually my grandmother reached the heavenly abode in February of 2013, but my mother did not want to deal with the complexity of explaining death to a 5 yr old)
S: Where is her mom? I mean your grandmother (your mom's mom)?
Ammamma (after deep thought - she knew where this was going): She went to God.
S: How does one go to God?
Myself (My mom gave up and looked at me to answer the question): Siddhu, when someone becomes 100 yrs old, they go to God. We come from God and we go back to Him.
In a few days it was my father-in-law's 60th birthday (Shashtipurthi) and we all wished him. After S was done wishing him, he asked him, "Thatha, how old are you now?" To this C's dad answered 60 yrs. Immediately S did some counting and said, "Oh Thatha! You have a way to go to God. Don't worry!"  And S turned to C saying, "Dad, when someone becomes 100 yrs old, they go to God; KKD Tata is 60; so he is not yet that old, right? "
My father-in-law did not have another word to say...:-(

To add to this question frenzy at home, every morning while A uses the potty he says, "Amma, why is my pee-pee (pe***) so big and standing? I don't like it like that. Can you make it smaaallll(A's style of small), please?" And he keep playing with it to make it small...

...as if this is not enough, they say it gets crazier going forward. So, enjoying the calm before the storm.

Cow on a stove?

More conversations regarding eating meat follow. For those of you who have come here without reading the first post, please go here.

December 2013 (on our way back from school):
S: Amma, my friend ate a hot dog today. Which meant is it?
Myself: I think it is a cow's meat.
S: Why are we not eating a hot dog?
Myself: Because it has animal's meat in it and I do not like killing animals. Also God created us as vegetarians, so He might not like it if we eat meat. (I made up the last part to avoid further questioning, but that did not work it looks like)
S: That means all my friends who eat meat are bad because they are not listening to God.
Myself (not wanting to leave him with that thought because imagine if he said something like that in school the next day): Not really Siddhu, we might not be listening to God in some other aspects and listening to God in eating habits - this may be opposite with your friends. So you cannot say good or bad; it is a choice which you take knowing all the options/consequences/opinions etc. 
S: But then my friends are killing these animals and eating them, Amma?
Myself: No your friends do not kill these animals. Hunters kill them and then companies process the meat, send it to stores like Walmart, Sprouts etc - your friends will buy the meat from these stores. It is similar to we buying vegetables from these stores; we do not grow them - farmers grow, pluck and package veggies and send them to these stores for us to buy.
S: Oh, yes amma, I know now. So after a hunter kills the cow, he puts the cow on a stove and cooks it like we cook our dals and vegetables. But if it is a mommy cow then it will be huge and will not fit on the stove. So the hunter will chop it into pieces and then cook it.
Myself (exhausted): Siddhu, that is very creative but I have never seen how they process meat. May be we will find out when you are a little bigger...

I was already so exhausted that I just could not carry on the conversation further - I was actually running out of ideas.

January 2014 (out of the blue while playing):
S: Amma, not eating meat is your choice or you are just obeying your mother because she does not like you to eat?
Myself (OMG - what a question) : As a child, my mother did not allow me to and i wasn't exposed to a lot of eating meat because my boarding school offered vegetarian food. But growing up, it was my choice to not eat meat.

The last question revved up a lot of reflection and introspection and still play in my mind - sometimes I just discover myself via S's questions. Such innocence and honesty - hope it always is there in my relationship with my children...

 

Eating Meat - A big ?

Ever since S started Kindergarten in August 2013, he has tonnes of questions about eating meat (very progressive questions). To understand more about why eating meat is a question in our family there are a couple of facts to be brought to light: firstly, I don't eat meat (hubby dear does). Secondly, the reason behind not eating meat is because I believe in ethical treatment of animals (not because we are brahmins).

Until Kindergarten, S attended pre-school at Green Bay Montessori where each child brought their own lunch and there was no school cafe. And his teacher, Mrs.K would warn him with the meat items during any potlucks or festival celebrations. On the contrary, most of his friends in Kindergarten buy their lunch from the school cafeteria and all of them take meat in different forms (chicken nuggets, hot dogs, bacon strips, salami, meat pieces in salad etc etc)...Below are his progressive conversations about the same:

September 2013:
S: Mom, some of my friends eat meat? Why don't we eat meat?
Myself: Because I don't like killing animals for satisfying someone's tastes buds.
S: So, my friends kill animals?
Myself: Not exactly, your friends do not kill animals. But because there are people like your friends who like eating meat, someone people kill animals and get it ready for your friends and others.
S: So, who kills animals?
Myself: There are people who kill animals and those people are called hunters.

S became silent and began digesting these thoughts...

October 2013:
While going through the local grocery store, he read the label "Chicken Nuggets" on a packet and exclaimed, "Oh Amma! that is chicken nuggets and we cannot buy it because we cannot eat meat. We do not want to hurt the animals, right?" . I answered in the affirmative and headed to the car. Just when I was glad that there were no more questions, I heard an inquisitive little 4-yr old's (about to be 5 in a month) voice -
S: Amma, why don't we eat meat?
Myself: I do not like killing animals. Imagine that animal's babies and family? If someone cuts me and eats me, will my family be happy? 
S: No Amma.
Myself: Similarly I feel that animals should not be killed to be eaten - only because there are people who want to eat meat, there are hunters who kill animals. But this is my thought Siddhu. 

November 2013:
Being a chatty boy, he forgot his lunch box at home and I noticed it only after the school lunch time. I still called to check if I could give him his lunch because being a vegetarian I wondered what he would eat from the school cafe. Since it was still recess time, they allowed me to give him his lunch. And then while eating his PB&J sandwich,
Myself: Siddhu dear, I am so sorry. I thought you put it in your bag but apparently you did not; I should have checked again. 
S: That's OK, Amma. But they allowed me take a lunch form the school cafe.
Myself: So, what did you eat?
S: Some baby carrots, cucumbers and a salad. Everything else had meat in it. Even the salad had bacon pieces in it, but because we do not eat meat I removed those pieces and tried the salad but I did not like it.
     
I thought that was pretty big thinking for a 4 yr old.

Further conversations are noted in an upcoming post here.

Little minds, big questions...

In the second half of 2013:
S is an extremely inquisitive kid; he has a why? what? when? and how? for every thing someone tells him. And both myself and C encourage his questions. We both feel strongly that it is very important for a child to question and even more important for parents to take time and effort in answering the same . To that point C usually sends S in my direction; sometimes my answers are to the point, other times they raise more questions, and even more times it is just "I am not sure, I will look into it and let you know." His recent questions have been 

• Does a pe*** have a bone? (This one he asked C while he was peeing)
• Mom, are you married? (Suddenly, out of the blue while driving)
• If you had two other boys instead of me and Akhil you would be telling them every night that you love them most and that they are the cutest two boys in the entire planet, right Amma? 
• Who will be mine and Akhi's wife? 

Now with those questions, I will let you imagine what the next one might be...