While I was pregnant with S (during the first trimester), i.e., in early 2008, I visited a Lifetime Fitness centre. That was my first visit to a fitness centre in the States and I fell in love with the swimming pools. There were lots of pools - diving, 6ft pools for adult swimmers, 10 ft pools and what not. The one that caught my attention was the one with a depth gradation of 0 ft to 4 ft. There were just months old babies learning to swim (along with their parents), toddlers trying to blow bubbles, preschoolers jumping into the water and so on. Everyone was ENJOYING the water. Seeing that I made up my mind to teach my baby swimming (at that time I did not know if it was a boy or a girl).
On those same thoughts during the summer of 2009, I would put S in his big inflatable froggy pool and let him play with his bath toys, splash water out of the pool and play with him while in the pool. We also wanted to get him accustomed to big bodies of water so that when he started formal swimming lessons, it would not be extremely difficult. He enjoyed the water a lot, but I just think a swimming pool is a lot different form a baby's inflatable pool.
When S was 18 months old, we enrolled him into the Parent and Baby swim lesson at the Y during the summer of 2010. Every Tuesday C would go with S into the pool and they would have fun. (I did not get into the pool with S because I was scared of S kicking onto my second time pregnant tummy). For the first three classes, he did just great. Something happened (I cannot understand what it is until now) and from the fourth or the fifth class onwards, he continuously cried really loud (read wail) in the pool, clung on tight to C and did not let go, never tried to blow bubbles, was very hesitant to walk on the floating pad and play with the swimming toys provided by the Y. I asked his swimming teacher a couple of times and she always said that it was OK and that he would get over it. Neither C nor I knew swimming at that point in time to really understand what was going on. Also, A was due in a month or two. So, once we were done with S's swimming lessons (9 in total), swimming took a back seat.
Then in summer of 2011 we used to take both, S and A to the apartment pool. Like before, S never ever liked it. He just did not want to swim. He was very frightened, cried for as long as we were in the water or just wait on the step in the pool. I brought his bath toys, a net and what not. NOTHING enticed him. Pursuing my childhood dream, I learnt swimming during the same time. So, I tried to get S comfortable using the techniques that I learnt at the Y. He would be OK for a while, but he needed me around. He did not feel comfortable in the pool even with his dad around.
Quite the opposite, A loved the water. He would stay in his little duckie floater and try to catch the bath toys. Though it was his first time in the pool, he went with anybody into the pool - as in, he wasn't specific that he needed his dad or mom. He was OK with the pool water in his eyes - if we got him underwater - if we stayed in the water for more than an hour etc etc. All of us got into the relaxation mode looking at him in the pool - it was a wonderful sight to see. During our farewell swim party at the Y, all my swim teachers just held onto A and did not want to let go of him. He was comfortable on his back, side and stomach. He just loved the water and we both started to call him 'The Water Baby'.
Then came the summer of 2012. This time S was a wee bit more comfortable in the water because he had been going swimming every afternoon in summer school. He always went in with his floatie and his teachers told me that he used to do good. But the little I saw he was OK, not good. We did not push him too much only so that he doesn't get averse to swimming. A was great as usual in the water. He just needed formal training to really start swimming.
Winter 2012 came and swimming took a back seat in our home. So, that little comfortable factor that S reached during the summer was gone too. :-(
When I think about it, S's fears were extremely difficult to overcome. His fears and/or dislikes during swimming included -
- getting wet - S just does not like getting wet. This stands to date. While washing his hands or mouth, he does not like even a drop of water on his clothes.
- no bottom in the pool - The fact that his feet are not on land during swimming / cycling etc makes him very uncomfortable.
- water rides - he disliked water rides / water parks too. we tried those thinking that he would overcome his fear, but I think they worsened.
S started to attend Kindergarten this year in a traditional academy in Arizona. The schools offer meals at reduced prices, based on the lunch account money. But since S is a vegetarian, I usually pack his lunch from home.
On the first day of school, like usual I packed s's favorite lunch to school. After school, we had the following conversation:
Me: S, how was your day? Whom did you sit by during lunch?
S: My day was good, Amma. I sat by some of my friends for lunch. But Amma, some children buy their lunch from school. I think their mommies are too busy to make lunch for them. But, there are other children who brought their lunch from home like me.
Me: Siddhu, I think the children who buy their lunch at school like it that way. may be they would get the same stuff from home. I would have allowed you to buy if there was a vegetarian option, but I checked your menu and there was no vegetarian option.
S: Amma, there was a corn dog at school today for lunch. I thought of picking it up, because I like corn and it said corn dog. But I wasn't sure if it was vegetarian or not, so I did not pick it up. Even though corn is my favorite, I did not eat corn dog. Amma, is corn dog vegetarian?
C and I were surprised by his thought process. I was amazed at the fact that he did not eat meat only because that is what we follow at home (even though the name made him think that his favorite vegatable, corn was in it)...
Sometimes S is very strong-willed. Hoping he will keep his strong will for the future too.
S and A chat with each other very often - while I am in the kitchen, after tucking them into bed at night, while playing in their room, in the van and so on. This summer, one day I overheard S say the following to his brother: "Akhi, you know why I am your older brother? In the beginning, we did not have parents and Mom/Dad did not have kids. They wanted children and prayed to God for the same. So, she asked God for children. He asked her to choose from a bunch of children with Him. She selected you and me. God made both of us cute. But still God made me your Annayya (older brother in telugu) because even though we both are cute, I am cuter than you - just a tiny bit, but I am cuter than you are. That is why I am your Annayya...:-)"...
I met C during college days in 2001 and we have been seeing each other until we got married in 2006.
C is a very easy going person. He takes most of the things on a light-hearted note and does not worry much. He plans his days as it goes on and he is OK walking into a restaurant at 7:30 pm even though S has school the next day at 8:00 am. He is Ok if he paid extra for buying a couch but did not have to stand in line or look into too many deals. Even traffic tickets did not stir him up. He is a extremely humorous person and that is what I love in him.
On the contrary, I am an extremely organized person (at least I think so). I make a calendar, I need a plan and I like sticking to it. Any deviation from the plan will turn me crazy (though temporarily). There is a library day / swimming day / walking day etc in our schedule. Saturdays are sleep over days with my boys and I stick to it. If I cannot make it, feel very bad and make it up to the boys in another fun way. Prior to my marriage, I was a pretty easy going person, though not on all subjects. I could not see wet towels on the bed, shoes near the couch, tooth brushes in the sofa, clothes out of order in the wardrobe, things lying on the floor, utensils scattered in the kitchen and so on and so forth. So, my organizing madness along with my cleanliness turned C crazy at home.
Due to such a contrast in personalities, I got "That's OK, Sai. Things happen sometimes and other times they just don't. You got to take it easy..." And that drove me even madder. Recently, S too has got onto his Dad's wagon. He started to tell me, " Mom, it's OK. Don't worry. We can do that some other time..." Below are some instances -
- Last week, we were running late for S's after school tuition and I was hurrying the kids. Siddhu turned around and said to me, "Amma, it's OK. Some times we get late for the tuition and I don't think that is wrong."
- In the footsteps of his older brother, A never uses the toilet until the last minute. Due to that rush, the pee sometimes ends up getting sprayed onto the toilet floor which then means cleaning work for me. I usually get irritated, but just clean it out. After all they are kids and they are going to learn from their mistakes. But one day, I got really serious and told A very firmly that it is not OK to pee on the toilet floor. After a week or so, A agin peed on the toilet floor. To this S said, "Mom, it's OK. Don't get mad at A. He is a baby. So, it's OK for him to pee on the floor. He will slowly learn not to. OK?"
There were many more incidents like this and I usually did not give it much thought thinking that S just goes after his dad. But one incident threw me off and that is what set me into thinking...
Here in Arizona, Wednesday is Early Release day from S's school. So, parents are supposed to pick up children from the school at 1:00 pm (except for ids enrolled in after school programs). This is something I am not used to, because while we were in Green Bay (WI), S used to go to full day preschool.
On the first Wednesday ( Aug 7th, 2013) during this school year, I forgot about the early release. Suddenly @ 2:30 pm, we received a call from the school saying that S is sitting at the front office and waiting for us to pick him up for the past one and half hour. Hearing that, I drove really fast to the school and picked up S. On picking him up, I told him, "Siddhu, I am extremely sorry for forgetting that Wednesday is an early release day. I will make sure it does not repeat. I really mean it and I am very very sorry." I meant every word of it and was very apologetic in my tone. He did not speak immediately, but after 5 minutes he said to me, "Amma, don't be sorry. That is OK. Sometimes big people also make mistakes and today you made one. But that is OK. Few mistakes are OK, not a lot of them."
I was taken aback by his sense of maturity and was just silent for the rest of the drive home.
Seeing S's take-it-easy nature, I decided not to get upset at the boys for petty things. Along with that, I decided not to use the words , "Hurry UP" , "Quick" and the like. Usually, it is "Quick, get into the car. We are getting late." Now, it is just "Get into the car. We got to go swimming.". Learning never stops, we learn new things all our life. And my boys teach me new things day in and out. Thank you, my dear boys!
We recently joined S into the Pre-SSE section of Sathya Sai Balvikas. The Balvikas sessions occur on Sunday mornings and the first one for this Fall was on August 11th, 2013. It was a mandatory introduction session for all parents and children of all age groups. There were more talks during that session and S was getting impatient. He asked, "Nana, why are they not singing? Why are they going on talking?" We just calmed him down in the routine fashion. The group sang only one bhajan and that was "Manase Bhajare Guru Charanam." On hearing the bhajan S asked his dad,
S: "Dad, why does everyone usually sing Manase Bhajare Guru Charanam bhajan in most of the bhajan sessions or in sessions where we need to sing only one bhajan?"
C(his dad): May be because that was the first bhajan Swami sang.
S (after a long pause): That was the first bhajan I sang too, Nana.
We were shocked at his answer - his presence of mind and his responsiveness just blew us off. We are ever thankful to God to give us such beautiful children...
One day S was going through at the pages of an Indian mythological story book he has. Looking at a picture of Lord Indra, he asked, "Amma, why does Lord Indra not have hair on His chest? Dad has hair on his chest, why not Lord Indra?"
First of all, I wondered where children now-a-days get their questions from. But the answering talent kicked in and I replied saying, "Some men are like that. Some have hair on their chest and some others don't. " I showed him a picture of Shah Rukh Khan and told him, "See, he too does not have hair on his chest."
I wonder if my answer was OK but, I understood that with children (like it is with people) there is no black and white - it is only that grey area.
S's quite-for-some-time doubt : "Why do vehicles have red rear lights? And why do these lights come on only at specific times?" I gave him a theoretical explanation with which he wasn't very satisfied. So, I gave him a practical explanation while on our way to Walmart for some back-to-school shopping. Giving him the explanation, I lost the way and ended up taking a U-turn. Seeing that I took a U-turn,
S : Amma, you again lost the way to Walmart?
Myself : Siddhu, you were constantly talking about brakes, accelarators, head-lights and rear-lights that I got diverted and I lost the way. Just stay calm for a minute and I will be on the right track.
S: But Amma, some times you and Nana talk a lot while I am doing my Math work. Because of your talking, I get disturbed and I end up doing some of the sums incorrect. But you tell me that in spite of anyone's talking, I still should do my Math correct. Just like that, even though Akhi and I keep talking in the car, you should not lose your way.
Hmmm, Nice logic... (Point noted)
